It’s Only Up To You

This song by the Sensational Alex Harvey Band has been for years the song I go to in moments of deep sorrow.

I’ve seen stars disappear in a hurry

overdoses in satin and silk


some others who can’t feed their children

’cause they don’t have the money for milk…



There are some folks got nothing to live for

Some folks got nothing to lose

So don’t ask me for pity


No complaints department blues

There is no complaints department

It’s only up to you


In the wake of the last few days of news, it must be stressed. It’s only up to us. We can’t wait for the cavalry. We are the cavalry. We can’t depend on the Democrats, the mainstream media, or the courts. Even if Robert Mueller has the blood that was on Trump’s hands in his possession, it may not be enough.

It is up to us and it always has been but never has it been clearer than right now. Every day feels like a setback but if we push back then we might eventually get America to be what we were told it was when we were children.


I Know Who Killed Me (On twitter)

I give up. You win, twitter. Fuck you. I did what you asked me to. I deleted the bullshit tweet that made fun of Donald Jr. but I still couldn’t post. I could look around and post PM to friends but I couldn’t tweet or RT.

Why would I want to use twitter when I can’t tweet or RT? What’s the point? Fuck you.

I appealed my suspension but my appeal failed so I conceded and deleted the tweet. Fuck you. You have actual fucking Nazis and fascists on your platform. And I’m suspended. I’m now unable to tweet for another week because I tried to tweet a Kentucky state senator for talking shit to me.

Which reminds me. . . I think I know who reported me. It was not Sady Doyle. She’s now following me. I didn’t expect that. I probably agree with her on more stuff than I don’t but I’m still surprised.

I think it was my state senator Joe Bowen who reported me. Bowen is retiring at the end of this term and not a moment too soon, as he voted for the unpopular pension reform plan. Last week, I called him and Matt Castlen (my representative who also voted for the bill) frauds. While I was suspended, Bowen sent me a tweet basically calling me an internet tough guy. I tried to reply and tell him I would be glad to call him a fraud in person and I think I’ve extended my non-tweet-or-RT by another week.

Fuck that, fuck twitter, fuck Matt Castlen and double-fuck old Joe Bowen. Matt Castlen is the heir to Joe Bowen’s seat in the state senate. NO HE IS NOT. I’m voting Bob Glenn in November and I’m not even thinking twice about it.

Joe Bowen, if you have Google alerts, I’ll be glad to meet you in person to call you a fraud. You think I’m a twitter tough guy. You look you died years ago and you haven’t caught on yet.


It’s easy to be pro-life when you’re a zombie

I Regret Nothing

Today this happened. Warning: trigger words in the image below.


I’ve appealed my suspension but as of now I am suspended for the next seven days from twitter. twitter might be doing me a favor. All I have to do is delete that tweet and I can be unsuspended. No. Fuck them. twitter needs its’ users more than we need them.

I sort of enjoy the idea that Don Jr. is sitting at home going through his mentions and reporting people because he doesn’t have anything better to do. His wife left him, she took the kids. He’s sad, alone, eating takeout, crying to twitter about what the bad man said. There are actual nazis on twitter.

By the way, they can capitalize “twitter” all they want. I won’t. They don’t deserve it. And it’s not like I’m making fun of gays or the disabled. I’m making fun of Donald Jr. and his shitty dad. I should know and do better but in this case, I regret nothing.

Ohhhhh. . . it just occurred to me that I called out author S@dy D0yle for vanity searching on Reddit last night. Perhaps she is the one who went through my history and reported whatever she could scrounge up. That tweet about Don Jr up above is from May 31. It’s June 14th. You’d think somebody would have been upset about that way sooner than two weeks later.

I am could be one of the few people on Twitter who has been reported by both S@dy D0yle and G@vin Mc!nnes. I have to type it like that so it won’t crop up in their Google alerts. If you’re gonna vanity search yourself, you will have a very bad time.

America Sucks From A Shitpipe

Yesterday, celebrity chef and television host Anthony Bourdain committed suicide at the age of 61. This news coincided with a CDC study that American suicide rates have increased 25% nationwide since 1999. My home state Kentucky’s suicide rates have increased 36.8% in that time, making the commonwealth the tenth ranked in the country in suicides per capita.

In the last twelve hours I have come across some truly shitty takes as to why people are committing suicide more than they used to. It’s as if everyone raced to the computer to fire off the shittiest word salad they can conjure with barely a half-thought. Meanwhile I’ve taken about fourteen hours to conjure up this which makes this a lukewarm take.

I have a theory as to why more and more people are committing suicide in America: because this country sucks from a shitpipe.

Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at what has happened since 1999 in this dumb fucking hellhole.

  • Gore won the election but Bush went to the White House because the fix was in from Roger Ailes and Katherine Harris
  • 9/11
  • Starting a war in the middle east that our military is still engaged in despite using obviously faked evidence as a pretext
  • This is also when we opened Gitmo
  • Hurricane Katrina
  • Increasing frequency of mass shootings
  • The economy goes tits up
  • The middle class is gradually dismantled
  • We elected Obama who ran on a platform of CHANGE but he turned out to be about 20% to the left of Bush
  • In his defense, Obama comes up with the Affordable Care Act and signs Dodd-Frank. Fortunately, his political opponents take it in stride
  • Citizens United… oh boy
  • Opiods become the new meth
  • Meth is still around, though
  • More hurricanes
  • More and more mass shootings
  • Social media makes it where we can learn all the bad news FASTER
  • Good news, gang! Gays finally have the right to get married now! Evangelist radicals take it in stride, no problem.
  • The craziest assholes get the biggest platforms
  • Alex Jones says there’s a lab where frogs are turned gay with science
  • Stagnating wages
  • Goldman Sachs, go fuck yourselves
  • Nationwide obesity and diabetes rates increase
  • Clinton won the election but Trump went to the White House because the fix was in from a massive international syndicate
  • Apparently, we are Russia’s bitch now
  • There’s a pee tape and we can’t see the fucking thing
  • You learn that a 40-hour work week at minimum wage can’t buy shit
  • Baby boomers trash you for being lazy, anyway
  • Your college loan debt is a science-fiction epic
  • That Stanford rapist was sentenced to prison for about seven minutes
  • There’s a mass shooting every other day practically
  • And a bunch of other stuff I don’t want to recall because it’s too goddamn depressing

You can start to see how American life gets on top of people. When the dissonance between your inner doom and the asshole on TV telling you that America is the greatest country that God ever invented. You look around the town where you live and see how bad things are and it doesn’t fit with the news that the Dow Jones hit a new high today. You know you’re being lied to and all you really want is two things: for somebody to be upfront and honest with you, and for someone to treat you with some humanity.

I would leave the US if I could. I don’t love it, but I can’t afford to go. It wouldn’t be the end of mine or your problems. But maybe if this was a better place, it wouldn’t exacerbate the problems you already have.

I don’t blame anyone for checking out early. They’re not weak or cowards. They’re just pressing stop on a shitty movie. We are not much better than the countries we call our enemies, in that our country does the bare minimum to give its residents a viable way of life.

My generation watched the plug get pulled on a vegetative American dream. Hopelessness and helplessness are far for the course.

I Bring Good News From My Bandcamp

I bring a sliver of good news to you in these shitty times.

My bandcamp is up and running. You can buy the Kentucky Prophet album “Beyond The Fringe” for $7.

In time I will also release other music I have made. Kentucky Prophet, Mr. Neutron, you name it. . . going all the way back to 1997. From the indie-released to the self-released to the never-released, I will finally share it with you, one piece at a time. Some of the pieces are better than others.

Technology Vs. Horse’s music is already on bandcamp but that is only part of my story.

“Beyond The Fringe” was initially self-released in 2007. Produced by DJ Cappel and Smitty, it contains fan favorites like “It’s A Wonderful Life” and “I Sell Drugs To Celebrities”.

This digital release comes with a bonus track from the “Fringe” sessions, “Valet Parking At The Polo Lounge”.

I’m finally going to let you hear my life’s work. This is exciting.

A Handsome And Intelligent Man

I’m listening to my very first EP from 1998. Egad, it’s terrible. Just kidding. It’s brilliant and amazing and I had it all figured out at such an early stage. No really, it sucks but it should suck.

The music was performed using the canned beats from a Casio keyboard. I was 19 and Marky E was 16 and neither one of us could play an instrument but what we could do… I don’t know if we could do anything, actually. We just tried. Two of the songs weren’t even written. They just happened.

We sang about rednecks, scenesters, goth kids, and cybersex. (in 1998, we couldn’t just send dick pics to each other over the phone… we didn’t have Snapchat. We had AOL.)

These songs are stupid as shit. I could still write these kind of songs if I wanted to. Just now I came up with something while waiting for something to microwave…


I’m getting gay with your dad

I’m getting gay with your dad

We’re gonna get in the truck

I’m gonna learn how to fuck

I’m getting gay with your dad





I could write that kind of shit all day every day. I’m trying to progress artistically, alright? You people don’t understand me at all.

There are hardcore Metallica fans who want to hear their earliest demos, like recordings from before their first album. Metallica is probably “what the fuck, we’re way better than that now… why do you still like our first album so damn much? Let it go.” Because the earliest stuff you do is gonna feel kid’s play compared to when you get good if you ever get lucky enough to get better at music.

At least Metallica could play guitars and stuff. This thing I did… is just a dummy with a Casio who listened to too much Dead Milkmen and Public Enemy and his friend who’s just along for the ride.

Is there any historical value to my first EP? No, of course not. I wish these were Metallica demos. I’d sell them faster than you can play the riff from “Phantom Lord”.



I Don’t Want To Wait Until November

Tomorrow is Primary day in Kentucky. I will drag myself to the poll and cast a vote on the Democrat side. Hopefully, the Democrats I vote for will win the primary and go on to win in November.

Four Dems are running for US Congress in my district, against Republican incumbent Brett Guthrie. I wish them the best of luck, for Guthrie is well-funded, and well-regarded by the local Chamber of Commerce types. Guthrie is fine for the good-ol’-boy system in this district, and why should the applecart be upset because of some upstart Dems.

Brett Guthrie votes like he’s told and takes pictures with nice people who come to his office in Washington for a meeting. He talks big about fixing the opioid epidemic and other issues relevant to our state but does little to nothing to address these problems. He sponsors bills by fellow Republican because his own rarely make it out of committee. He will not take meetings with the public. He will not hold a town hall. Once a year during the summer if you’re lucky, he’ll hold “office hours” in each county of the district. In other words, he’ll make himself available for about an hour-and-a-half in some public space during normal working hours, provided you can find him.

Have you heard of the “blue dog” Democrats? A so-called group of hardcore voters who would go so far as to vote for a dog as long as it ran as a Democrat? I would vote for a dog right now over Brett Guthrie. The dog would not vote to make it easier for mentally ill people to buy guns. The dog would not take NRA money. The dog might bark a bit loudly but that’s it. Going walkies a natural a reaction to anything that goes on in Capitol Hill.

We’re supposed to wait until November and then we’ll take back the House! And maybe even the Senate! But I don’t want to wait until November. Why would I wait until that day to take that power from these idiots? There’s a brutal stupidity going on and it effects everyone whether they realize it or not.

I feel like I don’t have that kind of time and yet I don’t know what to do.

Stuff I Want To See In The Freddie Mercury Biopic

The trailer for “Bohemian Rhapsody” was released today to the excitement of millions of fans.

I will be there opening weekend in November when the movie comes out, even though it will likely be a disappointment. Nothing against the filmmakers but music biopics tend to be royally terrible and I have no reason to think that “Bohemian Rhapsody” will be any different no matter how good the individual performances are.

Not to mention that this movie will be a drama, like most biopics. There might be a few slight laughs and some awesome moments but a lot of the focus will likely be on the personal and professional struggles of Freddie Mercury. Conveniently, the movie will end at Live Aid in 1985, six years before Mercury died of AIDS-related complications. So it will end happily, if prematurely.

The thing about rock bands is they tend to be silly and stupid when interacting with each other and the world around them. Even if they are the smartest group of people, they are in such isolation on a level of fame that they lose touch with reality. This makes their concerns way more infuriating and petty and that’s funny to me.

I want to see a funny Queen biopic. And I want it to be a cartoon. Like an adult swim cartoon. Aqua Queen Hunger Force, if you will.

Though it is far too late for reshoots, here are some scenes I would like to see in “Untitled Queen Cartoon Project (Working Title: The Band from Highlander)”.

  • 1970: Freddie suggests the band name itself “Queen”. Brian May and Roger Taylor protest. John Deacon agrees, but is rebuked as he isn’t in the band nor has he actually met the band members yet.
  • Their attempt to go to the store and buy groceries in order to cook a meal as part of a team building project after a terrible argument.
  • Upon learning “Bohemian Rhapsody” is the #1 song in the country, Queen get trapped in an elevator (this actually happened)
  • Two fans freak out upon meeting Freddie, start fighting over his scarf and nearly strangle him to death because its still around his neck (this also happened)
  • Freddie plays “We Are The Champions” on the piano for the other band members and they fell on the floor laughing (yes, really happened)
  • The infamous Bee Gees/Queen parking lot rumble of 1978, where Barry Gibb calls Queen “Abba” and Brian May promises that Queen will never ever reduce themselves to playing dance music.
  • Freddie and John Deacon get extremely drunk and accidentally record “Body Language”.
  • A scene where Freddie attempts to record songs with Michael Jackson but is disturbed MJ’s giant cocaine-snorting llama.
  • Roger Taylor invents Hot Pockets while writing “Radio Ga Ga”
  • Brian May, inspired by a screening of “Death Wish III”, writes power ballad “Who Wants To Live Forever”.

Tips About Dating From A Celibate

Have you heard about this “incel” thing? If you have, then you don’t need me to explain. If you haven’t I will not explain it to you here and I caution you to avoid looking it up because it will make you depressed about humanity. Let’s be honest, there are so many things that can dishearten us. Why add to the list unless we absolutely must?


Man and Woman. Mars and Venus. Blue and Pink. Eating laundry pods and the cinnamon challenge. A mystery as old as time and as irritating as sunburn with no aloe to put on it.

I can help you. I’m out of the game, folks. I should write a book about it and sell it or something. If Steve Harvey can do it, why not me?

There are two things you need to know in this dating life. 1. Men are trash. 2. Women aint shit.

That’s it.

Men are trash. Women aint shit. You’re welcome.

I know you’re tempted to elaborate on the many ways men are trash or the many ways women aint shit but I’m gonna have to ask you to put that on the backburner and get your dicks out of your hearts for a moment. Also, you can’t say that one is because of the other nor can you say one is true but the other is more true. You’re only making yourself more miserable when you don’t do that.

If you’re a woman and you attempt to show cause why men are more trash then women are not shit, you will give yourself a headache and accomplish nothing. The men who already know about the worst of our worstness are on your side and the ones who don’t don’t care. Be mad at the sun.

If you are a man and you attempt to deflect from the intrinsic trashiness of your kind by sharing anecdotes about women not being worth shit, you will accomplish nothing except showing women what a trashbag s.o.b. you are. Maybe you’re not a trashbag s.o.b. but you appear to be a defender of such and that’s just about as bad.

In the world of equations, we have x and y. We don’t have x but y or x because of y. Nor do we have yes x but y is worse. We only have x and y. Men are trash and women aint shit. This is no hill to die on.

Soccer Manager, Part 1: Friendlies

I’m following up on last week’s intro post about my new hobby of playing Soccer Manager 2018. I’m managing the Chicago Fire out of MLS and the team played three pre-season friendlies.

How did it go? Oooohh fine?

I mean how well can one draw and two losses be? At least it wasn’t three losses, I reckon. A preseason record of 0-1-2 with a goal differential of minus-four is not a good start.

I had a bitch of a time trying to figure out a formation. I settled on 3-4-3 midway through the first half of the first game when one of my players (Dax McCarty) was sent off with a red card. After the game, I looked up the real Dax McCarty’s career stats. He has played in MLS since 2006 and has never once been sent off with a red card. In my game, he get sent off in the 32nd minute, game one. So much for realism.

So I played a 3-4-3 which was really a 3-3-3 because McCarty is a mid-fielder and then we lost by three goals.

This makes me wonder if soccer players play games like this the way basketball players game with the NBA2K series or how wrestlers play the WWE games. I have no idea what a soccer player does to unwind, especially one who plays in the U.S.. I assume every European footballer ends up in Ibiza taking x and edging in a hot tub. Which is, y’know, one way to live.

The next game we won 2-2. I know that 2-2 is technically a draw but that’s a victory as far as I’m concerned because we actually scored goals and didn’t lose. Not to mention you don’t learn anything from victory and I didn’t learn anything from that game.

After losing the next game 1-0, I began to wonder what the real-life Fire formation is so I looked it up. It’s definitely not a 3-4-3 which I ran the entire pre-season. It’s a 4-2-3-1, which means nothing to you but to means when the season starts I’ll have the team play that formation instead even though they have no experience with it.

On the management end, I sent some scouts out to find me a new goalkeeper and some fresh meat for the youth team and I took an English forward on loan even though I didn’t know anything about him. I should scout players before I take them on.

Onward to the season! Chicago Fire 2018: We Cannot Possibly Lose Them All!