Reminder: The Mike Farmer Bandcamp

I can’t believe I did this.

With some considerable help, I opened a Bandcamp which covers my musical career. This covers Mr. Neutron, Kentucky Prophet, and music under my real name. Some of these songs were independently released, others were self-released and a few were barely released. More than a few were never released.

This will be a supplement to the Technology Vs. Horse Bandcamp, the band I performed with for thirteen years. Between the TVH and this, I think it’s nearly all out there or as much as I want it to be.

Contents as of right now:

I encourage you to listen to all of these. I want you to download the Mike Farmer stuff, and pay whatever you want even if it’s nothing. If you want to buy the Kentucky Prophet stuff, that’s fine because they’re pretty good. I discourage you from buying the Mr. Neutron stuff because it’s juvenilia. I just put it up for posterity.

There’s other stuff to come, possibly:

  • unreleased Kentucky Prophet songs
  • a bunch of Mr. Neutron stuff from 1997-2004
  • a set of Mike Farmer piano demos, 2007
  • a bunch of stuff from L.A. 2001-2003
  • a few strange covers
  • new stuff in the future(???)

Seriously, I wish I were a legacy artist so I could cash in on this stuff. I’ve been doing this stuff way too long.

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Do You Realize?

It’s real easy to bag on Wayne Coyne and Lord knows he makes it easy sometimes. But dammit if it he doesn’t have one musical achievement he can hang his entire life on: “Do You Realize?”

Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?” Flaming Lips sang that in 2002. To the best of my knowledge, and I don’t mind being corrected on this, no one in music had ever before or has ever since actually addressed anything like this. Close the book on it, everybody. Wayne Coyne handled it. So many bullshit songs out there. But one day you gotta face it: everyone you know is going to die. Your family, your friends, you. Everyone.

But you’re not worried so much about what happens when you die. What about the people you love? What about when they die? What do you do then? When I was a kid, I knew my grandfather was eventually going to die and yet it terrified me. He was the most important person in my life. He was my world. His eventual death was my biggest fear. What was I going to do? It was inevitable.

My grandfather finally passed away five years ago. By then it stopped being my worst fear if only because of the sheer amount of suffering he had gone through in his final years. But for the longest time, in the back of mind there was that train of thought that said “please don’t go, please don’t go” and I’d fight tears at the very idea of it. “I don’t want him to go. Please. I don’t know if I can take it. Don’t go. No, no, no.”

You’re probably wondering why I would even entertain those thoughts, but no one entertains them. No one enjoys the thoughts that frighten them the most. They just encroach our minds no matter what we do.

What do the Flaming Lips sing about the inevitability of death: “And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know you realize that life goes fast. It’s hard to make the good things last. . .

But that’s so hard to do because you’re too fixated on “do you realize that everyone you know someday will die“. Everyone will die. And then you’re alone. Then what? It’s too much to bear.

The panic is pure and undiluted and it runs through me and I just want to scream out. There are no easy answers. I have a small family and that family will get smaller one by one until one day there’s only me. And I won’t know what to do when that day comes. And I’m scared about that. When the only people who have loved and protected me my entire life will be gone. One day I will be what is known as an “elder orphan” and I won’t have anyone to rely on in times of need. Because I’m always in need. And who doesn’t need somebody?

Years ago, I wrote a song called “Die Alone”. There’s two recorded versions of it on Bandcamp in addition to this video. I’ve played it for people who told me it made them want to put a gun in their mouth. But it’s not about dying alone. It’s about living alone. When no one is there for you. You haven’t started your own family to replace the one you lost. There’s just you. Or in this case me, trying to put the bravest face on a terrifying situation.

Deep down, I’m just a scared child. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the future. I don’t know how to plan ahead. Even if you wanted to throw out some suggestions to me, it wouldn’t help because I’m too busy screaming from the bottom of my heart.

I know, I know. There’s so many things that I can do to prepare for the future. But I can’t do them, especially right now. All I can do is panic and then try to push it out of my mind. It’s sick. It’s human. “Do you realize that happiness makes you cry?” Indeed. And did you know you’re more likely to cry from sadness and fear? Yes, and that’s why the same people who came up with “Do You Realize?” later went on to title one of their albums “The Terror”. Because the terror is what all of this is about. And the terror engulfs everything and everyone.

You want to think about that on a Monday afternoon?

 

Sweet Abortion Emotions

It is the Year of our Lord, 2020. I am on a stage somewhere in this Commonwealth of ragged glory known as Kentucky. Behind me is a band of rockin’ miscreants. And we are walking with the King.

In front of us are hundreds of pissed off people. Not pissed off at us but at something else. A larger force. A government, a society, a religion, a system, a code. These people are not only pissed, they are exhausted. And they have had it.

But for one moment, they are up for it. They are ready to roll. They are ready to rumble and fight. It’s an electric moment. And it’s all because of. . .

. . . an Aerosmith song with one word changed: “Sweet Abortion”.

 

It started as a joke. Me being an idiot. It was funny to me. Then it stopped being funny and I started considering how far I could take it. Then I had a fantasy I could take it to the people and they would respond to it. Maybe they didn’t like Aerosmith and in fact hated them but this minor alteration hit them just right.

“SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET ABBOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRTIIIOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!  SWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET ABBOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRTIIIOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN!”

By changing one word in the chorus, I turned Aerosmith’s classic song into something more than a joke. And now tonight onstage with this band behind me, I feel like a Great Man. A man who has united his people.

“Sweet Emotion” is now “Sweet Abortion” and it is an anthem. Because women’s reproductive rights are not just to be defended. They are to be fought for, to go on offense over.  There are people who are already taking the fight to the anti-abortion crowd on the legal and political front. Naturally, most of them are women. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. Actually, I’m just a punk letting off steam.

In this dream, I am not Steven Tyler. I’m not dressed in white silk robes. I am myself. I am always myself. I could fit in with the crowd if I were out there instead of on the stage. I could bless the beasts and children if I wanted to. But instead I am gripping that microphone and I’m singing “I can’t say baby where I’ll be in ten years.” Then I start screaming “I MIGHT BE DEAD IN TEN YEARS! WE COULD ALL BE DEAD IN TEN YEARS!” Then I grit my teeth to keep from screaming more before the next part.

And we’re all singing those two words together. “Sweet abortion”. Nobody put those words together before. There’s one abortion clinic in Kentucky. One. Imagine being on the other side of the state and having to travel to Louisville to have that done. I think about Bowling Green, home to Western Kentucky University. How many girls get/got pregnant in that town, yet have to go to Louisville or Nashville to get an abortion done? Why isn’t there a clinic in Bowling Green?

The band plays on. The tempo picks up. I stop singing and just start ranting. Some of things I’ve just told you I say over the microphone. People strain to listen but can they actually hear me? I’m not saying anything they don’t already realize but I don’t know I’m getting through. That bassline gets through: it is immortal. It’s one of Aerosmith’s few good songs.

I am well aware of the many people who are anti-abortion. They wouldn’t like what I’m putting down at all. Maybe they would object to the use of the Aerosmith song. Oh ho ho ho ho ho. If that’s you, I would strongly recommend Googling “Steven Tyler abortion” and then consider minding your own business when it comes to other people’s bodies.

Slow down, darlin’, slow down. I am having a manic episode. I have a grand idea and no way to get there. I suppose I could take a karaoke version of “Sweet Emotion” and just cut my vocals over it. Then I could go back to performing and play that at shows in front of unsuspecting onlookers. No telling how they would respond. It’s a crapshoot. I remember the last Kentucky Prophet shows were performed for handfuls of people. I could fit the audience in a freight elevator. Once again, I have a grandiose vision and no clear idea of how to get there.

Am I having a manic episode? Probably. Is it bad? No, not really. It’s a fantasy. But I’ll leave you with this one last vision. At that performance? rally? protest? benefit? where me and the band are cranking out a seemingly endless version of “Sweet Abortion”, somebody unfurls a giant banner that shows the Aerosmith logo except there’s one major change because where the band’s name is supposed to be instead sits. . . you guessed it “ABORTION”.

Somebody put that on billboards. Where’s that gofundme?

 

…And It’s Over

It took about thirty-six hours for Amy McGrath to fuck it up.

 

 

 

Ooof. So how did we get here? Well, let’s check out this Q&A McGrath did with Joe Sonka of Insider Louisville. 

joesonka1

Oooookay. And this from the Louisville Courier-Journal.

joesonka2

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? If you have any left-leaning principles, you will find a lot to be frustrated about in these two articles but just stay on this one subject. Stay on the subject of Brett “Boof” Kavanaugh, Supreme Court Justice. I hate to go through this again because it was so painful the first time but goddamn it. The guy was accused of attempting to rape a girl when they were both teenagers. The entire debacle of Judge Kavanaugh and Dr. Blasey-Ford’s testimony in front of the Senate Judicial Subcommittee is one of the great American clusterfucks of our time, and that says a lot considering the time we live in. This was a slam dunk of a “no” vote and yet it passed on party lines because the only thing that talks in Washington is power.

Consider this: the guy who was accused of attempted rape went on an unhinged tirade in front of the subcommittee, practically foaming at the mouth and ACTUALLY BLAMED THE FUCKING CLINTONS. Even if he were innocent, the lack of temperament shown in his performance made him a “no” vote.

If I may address you, Amy McGrath: yes, technically Brett Kavanaugh is qualified for the bench. Of course he is. He was on the 2nd Circuit of D.C. before the Supreme Court. And had he not been made a Supreme Court Justice he would remain on the 2nd Circuit. It wasn’t an all-or-nothing deal. But you know who else was qualified to be on the bench, Amy McGrath? THE JUDGES IN THE DRED SCOTT DECISION, you fucking useless goddamn idiot. THE JUDGES IN PLESSY VS. FERGUSON. They were qualified too. Citizens fucking United, you ignoramus!

Goddammit.

You don’t have to vote on them just because they’re qualified. You can vote based on past rulings and ideology. Why am I telling you this? You’re the one that said Washington is where ideals go to die? You said that in your slick three-minute campaign video. Where the fuck are your ideals, Amy? What do you believe? I mean, Mitch McConnell is more qualified than you are to be senator. If that’s the logic you want to apply, then should I vote for him?

It took you less than 36 hours to completely fuck this up with the people most likely to vote for you. Here you are trying to get the Trump lovers who hate McConnell. Now you’re pissing off everyone else who hates the guy. You have no credibility and if you were to somehow win in 2020, nobody would have any faith in you to show any backbone once you got to Washington. You’ve pissed off the conservatives for flip-flopping and you’ve pissed off the liberals for even considering voting for Kavanaugh in the first place. This is what I meant when I talked about the DNC’s “something-for-everybody, appealing to nobody” campaigns.

Am I wrong to expect any amount of moral consistency here?

McGrath vs. Shitstain 2020

Let’s get ready to discuss the always fun subject of Kentucky politics. Oh groan no this is torture don’t do this Mike don’t you want to be happy. Life is worth living. You have your whole future ahead of you, Mike.

In addition to the Presidential election in 2020, Kentucky will have a US Senate election. And you can start to see why this is so stressful. Because the incumbent senator in question is goddamn shitstain I dontwanttypehisfuckingnamefuckhim. You know who. He’s the Senate Majority Leader and a Republican and he looks like a turtle and everyone hates him.

 

This is the most hateable fucking guy in the country. At least you can understand Trump’s charisma to the people who like him. Who fucking likes this guy?

Amy McGrath is counting on that difference. If you don’t know who that is, she’s the new challenger to shitstain’s seat in the U.S. Senate. She ran for Congress unsuccessfully in 2018. Now she’s going to run a (likely) unsuccessful senate campaign. I don’t want to be a pessimist but I live in Kentucky, therefore. I should add that I don’t want her to be unsuccessful. But as deeply unpopular as shitstain is, shitstain is also a state institution and that’s going to be hard to unseat. The bastard practically has a death grip on his senate seat and with it, the majority leadership and with that, the Republican Party itself.

If you didn’t have to stomach to play that clip above (can’t blame you), he was asked by a journalist about the revelation that some of his ancestors in Alabama owned slaves, and how that may have altered his feelings about reparations if at all. To which he replied that the two things he had in common with President Obama were that a.) neither of them believed in reparations and b.) both of them were descendants of slave owners.

You just want to slap the bastard. I’ll leave you out that. I want to slap the bastard. But let’s get back to Amy McGrath who announced her candidacy on Tuesday with a three-minute video.

 

Let’s go through shitstain’s last several Democratic opponents. The last one was the state Secretary of State. Beat her by sixteen percentage points. The one before that was against the former state Secretary of Commerce and he beat the guy by six points. The one before that was the daughter of a former governor and an advocate for public education and of course she got pasted.

Now the latest challenger and probable nominee is McGrath, a retired Marine and fighter pilot who dropped bombs on Al-Qaeda and the Taliban. Just like in 2018, she came out of the gate with the above video and some appearances on cable news shows. In the first twenty-four hours of her campaign, she raised $2.5 million. That’s the kind of money a presidential candidate would envy. She’s going to need a lot of money to compete against a well-funded McConnell campaign.

The downside of Amy McGrath is that there will be no room for anyone to primary her from the left. There’s no way any other candidate will raise a fraction of what McGrath raised in her first day. Possibly because nobody else was recruited by Democratic Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. McGrath is the DNC’s pick. Anybody else is playing catch-up from jump, no matter where they stand ideologically. Somebody with actual legislative experience, like for example State Rep. Attica Scott, would be lucky to raise six figures during her campaign, let alone within the first 24 hours.

McGrath’s 2018 congressional campaign debuted with a splashy, well-produced, inspirational ad. She raised a lot of money instantly. Her race against Andy Barr was one of the most expensive in the country. Although Barr’s district is considered one of the more liberal districts in the state, that says a lot about Kentucky. About how conservative Kentucky is overall. About how gerrymandered the state is to fuck-all. About how popular Trump is in this state (he beat Hillary Clinton in 2016 by over thirty points).

McGrath lost to Barr by three points in a district where Trump defeated Hillary by fifteen points. The DNC look at those numbers and see a twelve-point swing. Everybody else looks at those numbers and sees a Democrat who lost. Unfortunately, this seems to be the best we can do right for 2020. Or that’s the best we think we can do. And this is going to be a repeat of what happened in 2018 when McGrath took on Andy Barr, when she came out of the gate strong but was unable to build on that and win.

There’s so much more to this and I’ll have until November 2020 to write about it. I will hate every minute of it. McGrath and the DNC will have sixteen months to take the bloom off the rose and lose this fucker.

Ashley Judd, do you want to jump in on this one?

It’s Difficult To Be A Dreamer

I have had a difficult time lately. Haven’t been feeling too well, physically or emotionally. Hate to beat the dead horse but I don’t have much else I can do. Not like I have the strength to do much else, anyway. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

It’s a broken lower leg. A fractured fibula to be more exact. There’s some muscle and ligament damage that requires an open MRI before I’ll know the full damage of the injury. It’s been six weeks. One would think that MRI would have been ordered by now. But for some reason that hasn’t happened. Perhaps the orthopedic doctor is concerned about my weight and finding a machine to accommodate me but I’ve called around and there’s is a facility in Owensboro (a mere 20 minutes away) that can accept me.

This will not surprise you but it sucks to have a broken lower leg and doubly sucks to be obese with a broken lower leg. What makes it worse for me is for the last year I’ve been exercising and building up my cardio and my endurance. I worked out three to four times a week as recently as seven weeks ago. I was getting healthier, stronger. And all that is gone now. I struggle to get from my couch to my bed or to my kitchen or the bathroom or from the front door to my car. All the buildup of that hard work is gone now.

I can’t bend my left knee. I’ve lost my flexibility. I don’t know if it’s the bone or the muscle. Here is where a MRI would be informative. Is the bone healing and if so is it healing properly? I use crutches sometimes if I have to walk far but I rarely leave home and only if I have to go to medical appointments. I don’t have a job. I’m on disability.

Yesterday, I had to go to Louisville to have a stitch taken out of my mouth. The previous week I had tooth pulled from the back of my mouth. That week a friend drove me. Amanda drove me and pulled me up to the front of the building so it was relatively easy. This week I went to my local courthouse and got a handicapped placard so I could park in front of the building because Amanda wouldn’t be able to take me.

No such luck. All the spots were taken. I had to go to the parking garage around the block. I was lost and confused, sweaty and disheveled. I hadn’t walked that far in two months. I lost all my cardio. Fortunately there was a shuttle bus to drive me around to the building but all my nerves took the energy out of me. Also, do you know how hard it is to stand up with all your weight on one leg waiting for a bus when there’s no seats or benches on the corner? It’s difficult to say the least.

When I finally got home, I was too exhausted to walk to my door in one go. I had to stop and sit on a bench belonging to my mom who lives next to me. I couldn’t get the air in my lungs fast enough. My heart pounded like a rabbit. It’s a struggle to get in and out of my car anyway because the injury is to my left leg. I have to swing both legs out of the car and then put my weight on the right leg while pulling up on the hood or the door with my arms just to right myself.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m going to make it. Am I going to heal my leg or is my heart going to give out from pushing too hard? It scares me. It’s been a nerve-wracking time to be alive. I try to concentrate on other stuff but it’s hard with the current state of the country and world today. I try to lose myself in music, at least by listening to it as I can’t seem to write anything at the moment. I’m in no mental shape to write. I’m too stressed. Some people think this would make for great creativity. I’m here to tell you that is not the case because I’m living it or else I would have songs, symphonies and novels produced already. All I have in my mind is one melody and a sentence that goes along with it and I’m not in the mood to develop it any further.

And I begin to think that if I ever somehow record and release another album, I already have another title for it. I’ll call it “I’m Done After This”. I won’t do anymore because I won’t want to do anymore. Why would anyone want to continue to create? It feels like an inhospitable environment for dreamers, now more than ever. And that’s all I’ve ever been.

I’m In Considerable Fucking Pain

AHHHHHHHHHH GODDAMMIT!

My leg is not healing.

The doctor showed me two x-rays. One from today and one from three weeks ago and the one from today looks worse. She asked me if I fell. I hadn’t. I’ve just been unlucky. I’m always unlucky. I must have swallowed a bad penny when I was a child and not expelled it.

This is probably why I’ve been in consistent fucking pain for the last month. Because my leg hasn’t healed or started to heal for whatever reason. Or I’ve aggravated it by attempting to get up to stand and walk around the house. Believe me, I have barely tried to walk very far. I can barely stand and when I do the majority of my considerable weight is on my one good strong leg.

I cried in my car on the way home. I will cry some more tonight and will likely cry in the coming days. I hate my life right now. I’m in pain and I can’t stand it. There’s no painkiller that really does anything to deaden the dull ache of what I’m going through. How does anyone enjoy opioids, seriously? How does anyone enjoy them for recreation purposes? What kind of person does that?

I’d give my kingdom for a Tylenol extra strength but I don’t have a kingdom. All I have is aggravation, both in leg and in my life. Don’t try this at home, kids.

I Wish A New Enemy A Slow Painful Death

Once upon a time, I got into an argument with one of my college professors. I was about two months away from graduation and it was in the middle of class. The closer you get to graduation, the more tense you are and it doesn’t help if the professor is a royal motherfucker. It’s been eighteen years since but the climax of the argument was me telling her that I hoped she got hit a by a bus. That ended that day’s class and my participation in it for the rest of the semester.

I was able to work out a deal where I could finish off the final class project without going back to class. I didn’t want to go back and Lord knows she didn’t want me back. I blew up and told her I hoped she would die. I mean, I said I hoped she’d get hit by a bus but essentially I hoped she’d die. I didn’t hope she’d fracture her tibia. She probably is dead now so I got what I wanted eventually.

Last week I did it again but on twitter to Fox Sports right-wing shithead Clay Travis.

If you don’t watch the video above (I don’t blame you) he says he doesn’t consider Trump a white supremacist and tells former ESPN anchor Jemele Hill that she “could have been the next Oprah but instead chose to be the next Al Sharpton”. Hmm.

There are a lot of people who want their choice of sports entertainment outlets to stick to sports alone and not cross streams with politics. They tend to be older, whiter, more conservative and they tend to support the troops by getting mad at black athletes who take a knee while the national anthem plays.

Let’s take Clay at face value and say that Jemele Hill could have been the next Oprah. But would the next Oprah take note of how a picnicking black couple were accosted by a white campground manager with a gun? Or would Oprah just do what she always did and develop her own brand while selling shit to housewives?

If you remember, Hill got in hot water and eventually fired from ESPN for the straight-up accusation (and who can deny it) that Trump is a racist, a position she has never wavered on. It is something she has been consistent on since the Charlottesville incident, when Trump said there were very good people on both sides of the debate when one side carried tiki torches, defended the honor of Confederate statues, chanted “Jews will not replace us” and in one instance ran over and killed a counter-protester named Heather Heyer.

Hill, who speaks who truth to power, loses her position at ESPN while Travis, who keeps his head in the sand, maintains his job. Stick to sports, which is much easier to do at Fox Sports unless you have a political perspective in line with Fox’s sister news operation.

It was far too easy for me to regress to my college self and wish a troll would get hit by a bus. And that earned me a week-long Twitter timeout. Keep in mind I didn’t say I was going to hit him with a car. I didn’t make a threat. I just hoped it would happen. That’s a suspendable offense? To be fair, it’s mean and juvenile. It’s completely immature. And there is a sick coincidence that I wish that what happened to counter-protester Heather Heyer happened to someone on the other side of the ideological coin. But suspendable? Come on!

Wait a minute. Hold the phone.

Oh, I get it. I fucked with a long-term shareholder. That’s where I messed up. So I could have threatened to rape someone and I would have been just fine. Now I know better. Lesson learned.

Since I can’t be suspended from my own website, I am going to make a list of things I hope happen to Clay Travis.

  • I hope Clay Travis gets hit by a bus.
  • I hope the bus runs him over.
  • I hope his bones and skull get crushed like a turtle’s shell under the bus.
  • I hope his twitter stock completely tanks.
  • I hope all his stock tanks.
  • I hope he is forced to watch as his shirtless mother is whipped with an electrical cord.
  • I hope while she is whipped, he is forced to hear her moan “OH MY GOD I AM HAVING MY FIRST EVER ORGASM!”
  • I hope he falls butthole-first onto a mason jar.
  • I hope the jar breaks.
  • I hope as he attempts to clear the shards and fails and blood trickles from his body cavity and he keeps muttering “oh no… oh no… oh God… oh… oh oh…”
  • I hope the reader of this article decides that my expression of anger is in reasonable proportion to the frustration I feel.
  • I hope Fox Sports goes completely under and Clay Travis is forced to livestream from his mother’s basement while being forced to listen to his mother being whipped with an electrical cord upstairs.

Do A Thing

“kvetch” is a Yiddish word which means to complain,  a complaint itself, or to be someone who complains a great deal.

Social media has made it easier for us to kvetch about any number of things. I have lately been kvetching about my fractured left fibula. I have been in near-constant pain for a week. You would probably do the same.

Politics is a typical kvetch for social media, and the number of Facebook posts I have seen about the Alabama abortion bill over the last few days is staggering. Perhaps you have as well and have even posted some yourself. Hell, even I have. The Alabama abortion bill is a another in a tsunami of right-wing evangelical ignorance wrapped up in bad legislation meant to hurt women and take away their anatomical rights.

I live in Kentucky. Many of my Facebook friends live in Kentucky. Kentucky passed an law to restrict second-trimester abortions LAST FUCKING YEAR. Barely a peep. There is one clinic in the whole state where a woman can get an abortion. There used to be three as recently as three years ago. “The Handmaid’s Tale” has been going on under your nose and what have you been doing? You’ve been kvetching in the Speaker’s Corner that is your Facebook feed.

I’m telling you this because all this kvetching is sound and furying signifying fucking nothing unless you do something. More people support abortion than don’t support it. We outnumber them but we let them win. We talk about it. They be about it.

So let’s do something. Let’s do a thing. Anything. What can we do? Here are some suggestions:

If you want to specifically help abortion patients in Alabama, you can donate to the Yellowhammer Fund.

You can always donate to your local Planned Parenthood. Your donation will be split between the local affiliate and the national charter.

You can also donate to the National Network of Abortion Funds, which helps “connect you with organizations (such as Yellowhammer above) that can support your financial and logistical needs as you prepare for your abortion”.

You can also donate to the ACLU (both national and local) as many of them are suing to block these various bad bills and laws. You can look that one up. ACLU. Google “I’m feeling lucky” if you want.

These are just a few suggestions. I’m sure there are some that don’t require you donating money but I’m too tired to research right now. My leg is screaming in pain at me and I probably have to go to the Quick Care because I’m coming down with a cold or something. Put your money where you mouth is. Quit kvetching and do a thing. Anything. Will America work if you don’t participate in it? What do you want America to be when it grows up?

 

Notable People Who Have Been Known To Sleep Naked

  • Tyrese (actor)
  • Alan White (Yes drummer)
  • Marina Abramović (performance artist)
  • Alan White (Oasis drummer)
  • Janet Jackson (singer)
  • Roy Wood, Jr. (comedian)
  • Bill Bruford (Yes, King Crimson)
  • Daniel Craig (actor)
  • Victoria Sun (topless girl from “Too Many Cooks”)
  • Ted Cruz (U.S. Senator)
  • Kenny Omega (pro wrestler)
  • Ariana Grande (singer) *

 

* Some sources dispute the nudity of Ms. Grande’s sleeping habits as it is well-known that she rests in a vat of vanilla lotion. This is pure hogwash. Whether one sleeps in sheets, vats of lotion or even layers of bubble wrap, it does not make them any less nude. Leave Ms. Grande alone.