She Was My Hero

Don’t read this if you don’t want to cry

My grandmother passed away December 21, 2019.

I am going to tell you about the time she saved my life. It is not my fondest memory of her, just my deepest.

We lived in Hammond, Indiana where winters were cold and icy and snow would pile up deep into the spring. I don’t remember exactly when this happened but it was so cold that giant icicles hung off the edges of the buildings.

It seems almost unthinkable now that little kids walked by themselves down a city street. Granny used to walk me to school but she stopped because she hurt her leg falling through a porch. My mom wasn’t there because she worked the graveyard shift. I didn’t have a dad. Granny picked up the slack. One winter day, I walked home with another kid from class.

We got to the corner where I lived, on a second floor of a two-story apartment building. The icicles hung so low off the building that he grabbed a piece and broke it off. He wielded it like a club. It was thick like a nightstick made of ice. The look on his face became menacing.

He said he wouldn’t start chasing me until the count of ten. If I got in before then, he wouldn’t hit me.

In spite of (or perhaps because of) being chased by someone with a nightstick-thick icicle, I made it to the front door. Two doors between me and safety. I could see my grandmother’s kind, smiling warm face in the window behind them. I just needed to get inside and I’d be safe.

He never got to ten. . . but he swung down on my head anyway. Now that I’m older I ask myself when would he have been satisfied? When I cried? I was already crying. When he saw blood? There was blood. If I stopped moving entirely?

For so long, I was mad at my granny for not opening that door and getting me to safety. I never considered that she had no idea what was going on. That she saw me walking down the street from the window upstairs and missed everything afterwards. How difficult it must have been for her to get down the stairs in the first place.

I never thanked her for coming outside and scaring him away before he really did me in. For getting me up the stairs and comforting me when I was terrified.

She was always there for me throughout my life. I never doubted her love. It was a grandmother’s love when I was little boy, called into duty to be a mother’s love for a second tour while my mother supported us working a graveyard shift.

I loved my granny but I was mad at her. Like a child gets mad.

I’m sorry, Granny. Thank you a million times. Forgive me. I might not be here if not for you. Your deepest memory of me is probably different than mine of yours. Hopefully it was happier. 

 

Path To Inevitability: January Edition

IT’S A NEW YEAR! Eleven months to go before the crushing inevitability of the 2020 Election.

Trump will take on Democrat TBD if he doesn’t stroke out or get impeached before then. In Kentucky, we have incumbent Senator and Majority Leader Fuckface (R) running for a seventh term.

The most likely winner of the Democratic primary as of right now is retired Marine fighter pilot Amy McGrath who looks like she coaches women’s basketball.

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McGrath has a $9 million dollar war chest. She will need every bit of it to compete with Fuckface this year. She also has VALUABLE HOLLYWOOD ENDORSEMENTS.

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Thanks, Grace. Love your show. McGrath’s platform consists of “woman fighter pilot/not Mitch McConnell” which could won’t work.

There are some other candidates: Mike Broihier and Steven Cox. Wait. . . Steven didn’t make the cutoff for entering into the primary. I asked him what happened.

 

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callfromsecretary

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At least he got a blue Twitter checkmark out of it. So he’s got that going for him.

So it’s Amy McGrath and everyone else. . . except a promising contender has entered the race. State Rep. Charles Booker put his hat in the ring last week.

Booker said he won’t be accepting money from a super PAC because of his “conviction” that big money ostracizes regular people from the political process.

“The majority of us in Kentucky are broke,” he said.

He believes he has a more powerful message for the time than McGrath does — on guns, for instance, Booker said he will keep a mandate to both respect the right to bear arms as protected in the Constitution and a moral obligation to keep Kentucky families safe.

Booker said what excites him most is the response from voters who trust him to advance the struggle of everyday Kentuckians. Without naming names, in one moment of candor over the phone, Booker said he was perplexed by leaders who say they want to beat Trump, but are unable to engage in the complex range of the political left’s thoughts, opinions, and anxieties. . .

Booker is pushing a progressive platform (Green New Deal, Medicare For All) as non-partisan solutions for Kentuckians. It’s risky but is it any riskier than McGrath’s pro-Trump Democrat gambit?

McGrath and Booker are both threatening enough to McConnell that whenever I type their names in Google search, I get these ads at the top.

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If you’re scared, say you’re scared. Fuckface.

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Seriously?

Look At Me, See Me In Control

Here I am. I’m in my car, in the driver’s seat. My sunglasses are on.

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found online, creator unknown

This is my profile picture. This is my Facebook and Twitter picture. Friends, family, strangers, especially the people on Hillary Clinton’s Facebook page. This is the face they see when they read my words. This is the image they have of me when my WORDS OF TRUTH are searing into their brain.

I have many pictures of myself in this car with my sunglasses on. This is the best one.

I’m in control of my car when I drive my car. I’m in the driver’s seat, and no one can tell me what to do unless I’m at a checkpoint or whatever. It’s annoying to have to pull out my license but hey if you’re not doing anything wrong, you won’t get caught, right?

I leave work and go home to my hot wife while all these neo-marxists and liberals stay depressed because they have no purpose in life. I’ve learned a lot in the last few year because I’ve been reading. With no ledge because power and with power comes control. I am in control of my situation. It helps to be have knowledge when you discuss things online because when you do that you know people are going to attack. They’re not in control. They’re not happy. They don’t even post inspirational quotes and Bible versus on their Facebook pages! Because they don’t have any spiritual nature. They have no purpose and they’re have no control.

I sometimes wonder if they have a car to drive lol!

I got into an argument with my cousin over the holidays. He’s a lefty liberal so you have to take what he says with a grain of salt but he said that my car selfie is about insecurity. I asked him what he was talking about. He said that it was all about the illusion of control. Because the car is the only situation in my life where I feel like I’m truly in control. I’m not in control at work or home. I’m just another rat in the race. He said to me, “Now that Trump’s in office, do you feel like you won the war on Christmas?” And I told him HELL NO! IT’S A WAR YOU GOTTA KEEP FIGHTING! People will the forget the meaning of it if you let them.

So even though I have the President I want and the economy’s doing really well and I get to have sex with my hot wife (when she wants lol), I’m not really in control on anything. I’m not actually winning. I’m not really happy after all.

He had the nerve to say to say all that to me. In my house. During the holidays. I got him a good pair of sunglasses for Christmas and this is how he replays me! It took all my strength not to just take them back.

That’s what control is. If he understood that, he wouldn’t have said all that about me to me.

I hired someone to edit this for me. He’s correcting the spelling mistakes and putting all the punctuation in all the right places. I will lock at it later and hope for the best. I don’t see any red lines underneath any words so I assume he did it properly. I found him on fiverr. He assures me that fiverr will have that red underline on it no matter what we do. You won’t see it. He used to work at a newspaper.

I am in control now. Get used to it.

I could also be a bot. Coin flip.