Lindsey Graham Hates Cats Because Their Dicks Aren’t Big Enough

Trigger warning: this has words in it. You may not like some of them.

Lindsey Graham hates cats because their dicks aren’t big enough.

That is the sentence that got me suspended from twitter for a week. Again.

This is not my first twitter suspension. You’ll notice that I am not capitalizing twitter. Some people don’t capitalize tv or god. For me, my word is twitter and being suspended from twitter is like being let out of Shawshank. I should be thankful but I’m pissed. What a miserable hellhole. I can’t believe they kicked me out. Let me back in.

Let me repeat: Lindsey Graham hates cats because their dicks aren’t big enough.

The implication being that Lindsey Graham loves barbed penises. Cats have barbed penises. Cats are too small for a fully-grown human to receive penetrative intercourse from.

If Lindsey Graham is going to receive a cat’s barbed penis, he wants it to be thick and large enough to accommodate him.

I was surprised how fast it was. It took less than an hour from initial posting to suspension. The last time I got suspended it was for a tweet I’d posted two weeks beforehand.

@donaldtrumpjr Your father is retarded. Therefore you are at least half-retarded.

This could be considered targeted harassment according to twitter terms of service. I considered it a low blow but well-deserved insult. Insults are protected speech by the First Amendment. Not on twitter, though.

This may offend you but I think we should make an exception for Trump. Let’s call him a retard until we make him cry and resign from office. We can do it. We could be heroes. Just for one day. When they go low, we call them ret- no, no, stop. . . it’s a slippery slope.

By the way, do you remember when the Iranian president called Trump “mentally retarded“? Good times.

So this is my little corner of the Internet where I can insult whoever I want without getting suspended. I might as well get it out of my system. You may not like some of this. For you cuckservatives, I’ll try to be somewhat bi-partisan.

  • “Nancy Pelosi” + “fat tittay” + “rule 34”
  • “Nancy Pelosi” + “AOC” + “BDSM” + “rule 34”

(I tweeted those two above and never got flagged. Apparently, only Republican males got triggered.)

  • Amy Klobuchar has a cleft vagina.
  • Mayo Guiliani was originally going to be “Mayor” but I misspelled it. Then I realized it looked better that way.
  • Mayo Guiliani married his cousin.
  • No, really. Mayo Guiliani married his cousin. Look it up.
  • I assume Mayo Guiliani also fucked his cousin, repeatedly.
  • Why would anybody marry their cousin? To keep them in the country?
  • “The Legislative Graveyard” is what Mitch McConnell named his taint.
  • Joe Biden isn’t as horrible as we all think. He’s just whatever.
  • Steve King is so ashamed of his interracial fetish he masturbates to the yin/yang symbol.
  • Chuck Schumer envies eunuchs.
  • Lindsey Graham’s nickname amongst elder Republicans in the Senate: “Suzanne Sugarbaker”
  • Ben Carson is a n. . .o good man.
  • Pete Buttitieg’s “gay Christian technocrat” is a bit he got from a Twitter account called Cumtown Character Generator.
  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will never kiss Ben Shapiro, no matter how much he picks on her.
  • When Elizabeth Warren cums, she makes excitable Julia Child noises.
  • Donald Trump is retarded.
  • Therefore, all of his adult offspring are at least half-retarded.
  • Lindsey Graham hates cats because their dicks aren’t big enough.
  • It hasn’t stopped him from trying to get them to fuck him.



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