Brilliant! I’ve taken a tumble. I fell and injured myself. Make me a Rhodes scholar, please.
I fell backwards in a parking lot over a concrete beam and on the way down bounced off the hood of my car. Genius!
How did I do this? A genius never gives away his secrets. Even though I told you how it happened just now, no matter! Trade secrets!
Why did I do it? Because I was making room for a gentleman with an air tank to fill up my driver’s side tire and I decided to go from minor inconvenience to full-on physical pain. Great!
Now? A non-displaced fracture on my left ankle and a spur in my left foot. Who could do that in one fell swoop? You’re reading him right now. Ouch (brilliant)!
Pain pills! Crutches! Orthopedic appointments! Not applying pressure on my left side. All in a second’s work. I am a golden god. That’s brilliant, people.